'Debt Sinkhole' lingo dumped on advice of expert consultants

Send Them Up the Escalator

Bishop Billy Cole was always mentoring. Even when an elder serving under him did not yet realize that pastoring was in the future, still the stories and lessons learned from the bishop were good preparation for pastoring, whether the younger minister knew it or not.

Many lessons that I learned from Brother Cole have benefited me in pastoring later. His true story called “Send Them Up the Escalator” (below) has been very helpful.

In pastoring there are wonderful moments when I am very confident I’ve heard from God for what to preach. It’s great when the Lord gives you a nudge and you know which direction to go. However, painfully, being a pastor also means that on many occasions you must preach regardless of whether you have a nudge from above or not. Being able to be a blessing over the long haul depends on how you react to those in-between times—when you’re forced to “carry the mail” without having been given any mail! What will you say then?

When I’m in such a condition, sometimes I consciously think back to the times I heard Brother Cole recount a true story about him being in an airport with Rev. Charles Mahaney, an incessant cut-up. I’m going by memory, so it’s somewhat of a paraphrase.

Brother Cole and Brother Mahaney, two battle-hardened road warriors, were unsure of where to go inside a massive airport. They passed one unmanned helpdesk after another. Brother Cole’s normal way to react to such circumstances might have been a slowly increasing frustration and mounting tension. Whether Charlie Mahaney simply was wired differently, or whether he was trying to defuse the situation, he reacted with humor.

As the two confused travelers approached yet another empty helpdesk, Mahaney suddenly jumped behind the desk and pretended to be an employee of the airport. Immediately a line of people formed! Mahaney began giving advice!

(I have tried to imagine what faces the great Billy Cole must have made as he watched his humorous friend deal with one weary traveler after another. )

Suddenly, an actual airport employee appeared. Naturally, he was not overjoyed at the fact that an imposter was dealing out unofficial (and potentially detrimental) “help” advice. Under the employee’s stern gaze, Brother Mahaney vacated the helpdesk.

“Just what have you been telling people?” the employee asked.

Mahaney answered, “I told everybody to go up the escalator, and there would be help there.”

After a tense pause, the employee seemed to relax and said, “That’s OK, actually. There really is a staffed desk at the top of the escalator.”

After telling this story to his elders, Brother Cole always gave his huge, unguarded, heart-warming laugh. He would conclude by making a helpful application:

“Sometimes, you won’t know exactly what to preach,” he said. “That’s no time to break out some new, weird doctrine. That’s the time to stay safe. Preach something you know well, such as Acts 2:38 and Jesus-name baptism, or about the Oneness of God. When you don’t know where to send folks, be safe and just send them up the escalator!”

Thank you, Bishop. We miss you. I know you’re enjoying life above, at the top of the escalator. I’m doing my best to send people up. I plan on getting there myself too.

Billy Cole with Doug Joseph on July 27, 2007. Brother Cole is holding the very first proof copy of the book The Life and Ministry of Billy and Shirley Cole). The year 2007 was a special one: In spite of his illness and age, Brother Cole was able to come to WV District UPCI Youth Camp and speak. While he was there, the district inducted him into the Esteemed Elders Society. Also, after over three years of work, Brother Joseph was able to present to Brother Cole the very first proof copy of the book containing the Cole's memoirs.

Posted via email from Doug Joseph

Microsoft's New Logo compared with my work 9 years ago

Couldn't help but notice that the newly unveiled Microsoft logo looks eerily familiar....

Below is their new corporate crest, released on Thursday, August 23, 2012:

Compare that with the logo I designed for WV UPCI's official site and departments circa 2003, about 9 years ago:

The all-caps (seen in both my old design as well as theirs of the same time period) were still in use at the time, and M$ should well have shed that by now (as I did with the new look released for WV UPCI about two years ago, seen below). Other than that, their new digs look amazingly similar to my old design work. I'm chalking it up to simply being years ahead of my time (smile). I am available for freelance work, by the way. PS: I owe a debt of gratitude to Paul Pavolni of Voppa.com. He has influenced me, design-wise. Thanks, friend.

Zach Sandy: killed by lightning; now alive and well!

Press release: July 13, 2012

For immediate release.

See more at mycac.net/zach/

Parkersburg, WV - On Wednesday, July 11, 2012, 18-year-old Zachary Sandy was struck by lightning and was without pulse or breath for somewhere between 20 to 40 minutes.

The lightning strike happened on a baseball field in Parkersburg, WV that was being used by a church-sponsored youth camp. Several others who were on the ballfield were also knocked down by the lightning, but other than Sandy, none was seriously injured. The blast literally shook the ground. Pastor Tisdale, local to the area, was among those knocked down. His wife was also impacted by the blast. Their son, a young preacher named Caleb Tisdale, was taken to his knees by the strike. Along with others, the young Tisdale, who knows CPR, rushed to Zach, who was laid out and stiff as a board. Tisdale said that smoke was literally coming from Sandy's mouth and body; an image he said he will never forget. Sandy's shirt showed burn marks and smelled like it had come from a furnace. The lightning had blown holes in the young man's tennis shoes as the electricity exited his body. The hair on the back of his head was singed and burned where the lightning entered his body. He had broad, red, track marks and second-degree burns caused by the lightning having traveled through his body. His cell phone was fried, its screen shattered, a cover blown off, and some buttons partially melted. Immediately both prayer and CPR were implemented.

Sandy was not breathing, and he had no pulse. Tisdale performed CPR on his friend until being relieved by paramedics, who arrived about 15 minutes later. It was not until sometime after Sandy was loaded into the ambulance and was on his way to Camden-Clark Memorial Hospital in Parkersburg that he finally displayed a faint pulse. By the time he arrived there, he had been intubated (put on a breathing machine). He had a stable heart rate. There was talk of airlifting him to either WVU Ruby Memorial Hospital in Morgantown, WV or the West Penn Hospital Burn Center in Pittsburgh, PA. However, a helicopter could not be procured at the time. So, he was taken by ground to Morgantown. There a crowd of family, church members, and other friends had gathered, and an impromptu prayer meeting was held. Sandy was flown from there to West Penn Hospital Burn Center.

Within hours, prayer support had been registered from over 30 states and two foreign countries. The very next day, the tube and breathing machine were removed, and Sandy spoke, drank, ate, and walked. The following day, doctors reported that all neurological tests had come back normal, and that as soon as Sandy's muscle enzymes returned to normal, he could be discharged and sent home. Both family, church, and friends agree that there is no other explanation but a miracle. At the Christian Apostolic Church in Clarksburg, WV, Sandy's pastor, Rev. Doug Joseph, stated, "Thus far, each and every prayer has been answered. At first we were cautioned that he might suffer brain damage from being under CPR for so long without a pulse. Everyone prayed and the Lord answered. Then we were cautioned that his kidneys might not work properly or that other internal organs could be damaged. Again the Lord heard prayers. We were warned that burns caused by lightning strikes almost always grow worse over time before they get better. His burns did the exact opposite. We're all elated and thankful for the great touch of God bestowed on this precious young man."

Details are available at: mycac.net/zach/

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For more info, contact:

Pastor Doug Joseph
Christian Apostolic Church (UPCI)
334 Glen Falls Rd
Clarksburg, WV 26301
(304) 624-4459

Note: Photos, updates, links, etc are at mycac.net/zach/

Forever Fighting Bad Guys (or Eternity with the Good Guys)

Our most beloved stories focus on times of crisis. Humans may say and think that we long for peace, but as a species we secretly think such times would be too boring. We are drawn to drama, to the aid of the underdog. Something deep inside elicits exciting existence -- times of horror haunting us, of evil evolving in our midst, and of crisis crushing us unless we can vanquish the demons and go from victims to victors. Even if we don't truly long for terrible times, we at least crave stories of such.

This is perhaps why some scoff at the Bible's promise of eternal life. Some supposedly wizened teachers' words betray an obtuse opinion that God never made any cosmoses prior to our own, and that He likewise must never have done any other creating after leaving off constructing our cosmos -- except, they happily confess, His maintenance of a boring, fabled home of harp-strumming angels floating on cumulus clouds. How boring.

Yet the Holy Scriptures paint a different picture: war in the heavens, fought amongst angelic species predating us, and who (like humans) have broad capacity for choice, even to rebel against God. The precocious prospect of counting epochs like days and millennia like hours, as we develop continually through aiding young, unique, future species, is enthralling to this whispering warrior, who is quite certain that Eternity with the Good Guys will be far more exciting than even our grandest imagination can grasp.

One academic type has argued that it is proof of our evolution that we have grown from caring about family to village, from village to caring about state, and from state to feeling patriotic about nation. He argued that the next step in our evolution is to care about our global populace. Listen: It is neither evolution nor good when the expediency of the masses overrules the conviction of conscience of the individual or minority. Finally, in the end, it will be maturity, not evolution, that truly takes us even further than caring about all humans globally, onward to caring for new species God has not even created yet. There will be battles against evil. Wars against tyrants. Excitement. Crisis. Are you up for it?

There's still time to get it by Christmas

There is to be a book signing in the foyer of Christian Apostolic Church (Clarksburg, WV) on Sunday, December 18, 2011 (before and after the services). Available copies will be on hand.

Order your paperback copies online at either Amazon or AuthorStock. (Note: To have your shipped copy signed by the author, order from AuthorStock and mention so in a note during payment or via email.) 

For those who desire an ebook, the Kindle version is available as well. In addition to Kindle devices, the ebook can be read on Windows, Mac, Android, iPhone, iPad, iPod, or Blackberry -- via a free Kindle application.

If you loved “The Chronicles of Narnia” series by C.S. Lewis, then you are sure to enjoy Doug Joseph’s “The Last Bye.” Instead of “The Horse and His Boy,” this novel is more like “The Flying Dinosaur and His Boy.” This fun, exciting, and heart-warming tale is a stand-alone read. Yet it is also the much-anticipated continuation of the amazing, uplifting story arc that began with Tess and Daniel in “New Immortal” and “Tesseract” (Books I & II). In this thrilling episode, everything hinges on their alienated-yet-adventurous son, P’erry. While growing up on a distant moon-world, called Sset, P’erry suffers heartache, makes friends, discovers the Tirra (great flying creatures), has breath-taking adventures, and achieves phenomenal, crucial accomplishments for the people of his world.

Purchase the book now in Paperback or Kindle.

Visit my Amazon Author Page

Check out my writing: The Skyport Chronicles, Books I, II, and III

Tips for new authors (Q&A)

Recently a new writer sent me the following:

I am writing a book called "The Mirror of Deadly Reflections: Is that God or Me?" I started in October 2010, and I am about 70% done now. About 6 months ago I was told that I might want to think about getting a book presentation together in order to possibly gain support for editing expenses.

This brings me to my reason for writing. Someone told me that you might have some wisdom for me and give me intelligent direction on going about creating a book presentation. They said that you had written books in the past, and are highly successful in writing. I am nervous to even think of doing such a thing, and that is why they suggested that I talk to you.

I have no idea what a book presentation even consists of. Can you give me some ground rules for creating a presentation on a new book? Is there anything that I need to stay clear of saying or suggesting? The presentation will be used both on the internet and by mail, with the possibility of in person (Lord help me) if the need arose.

Thank you for your time and have a blessed day,

I answered with the following:

Writing your book tends to make you an expert on your subject. Publishing your books tends to help you be seen as such. Imagine that after you are published, someone wants to interview you on radio or TV. What would you want to take with you when you go? That is what you put into your book presentation. Or, imagine that you are going to do a book signing at a bookstore, and you are to be given 10, 20, or 30 minutes to speak. What would you want to take with you when you go? That is what you put into your book presentation.

The world of publishing has changed dramatically, and it is still changing. Three technologies have changed the whole game.

1. "Print On Demand" (aka POD) -- There is now no need for anyone (neither a publishing company nor a self-publishing author) to front thousands of dollars for a long print run. A book on a hard drive can be turned into a paperback on demand, with the cost per book being the same for 1, 10, 100, or 1000 copies.
2. The Internet -- has begun a sweeping change that is taking the power base from the big, traditional publishers and spreading it out over the masses. The amount of power held by any single publisher is lessened, as it is diluted across many. Amazon is not a publisher; it is a market place. Barnes and Noble is trying to follow suit. (B&N seems to always be the runner up, always late in catching up to Amazon.)
3. eBooks -- have changed the degree of need for ink and paper, and that change is still shaking out. Kindle is Amazon's dominant force here. B&N tries to catch up with Nook.

In the old days, you, as a writer, would self-promote (aka self-publish) yourself to a small audience of big, traditional publishers. They would close doors, and maybe, perhaps, you might get one to open a door. Often, that one would cause you to sign away some or much of your rights in exchange for editing, designing, and printing, and (some) promoting. Too often they would then tell you, the author, that the success of your book depends on your own personal promotion of your book.

If their ability to promote is not sufficient, then is all they are otherwise offering worth signing away rights and a large part of what should be your royalties? They offer a sense of legitimacy, an air of professionalism, and skills of editing, designing, and printing.

The days of authors needing their sense of legitimacy are fading. Whether or not you are professional does not depend on them. The skills of editing and designing can be hired very affordably, without signing away rights or royalties. The cost of printing has all but dissipated.

I have all the necessary skills of writing, editing, and designing. (The editing part is largely thanks to my wife.) I don't need anyone's help to enhance my professionalism, or my personal sense of legitimacy.

For all these reasons and more, I choose to self publish first, and then offer my finished product to a big, traditional publisher. Such has gotten my writing into their catalogs and on their websites, and even some of their promotions. Self publishing through CreateSpace.com also automatically gets my writing up for sale on Amazon.com. (Amazon owns CreateSpace.)

I also sell to my friends, family, and acquaintances through a website called AuthorStock.com -- a site I founded for myself and other Christian authors. I can take orders, get the full amount directly, and do my own shipping, while not having any middle-man take a cut. It also lets me sign my books before shipping them, if that is desired.

To see a actual bookstores powered by AuthorStock.com, visit either of the following:

http://skyportchronicles.com/
http://billycolebook.com/

If you can provide an edited, laid-out book interior as a PDF, and a cover design (wrap-around) as a PDF (you can even use templates from the CreateSpace web site) then you can print a book with CreateSpace for NO upfront costs.

Hope this helps.